UNPACK YOUR ADJECTIVES
Songs learned during childhood have a particular staying power. Lyrics from a children’s choir musical (“Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego, lived in Judah a long time ago”) are entrenched in my memory alongside jingles from popular TV commercials (“I’m a Pepper, he’s a Pepper, she’s a Pepper, we’re a Pepper”) and an extensive collection of songs from the Saturday morning series of animated shorts known as Schoolhouse Rock!
While I cannot identify a definitive favorite from the Schoolhouse Rock! music catalog - “The Preamble,” “I’m Just a Bill,” “Conjunction Junction,” and “Interjections!” all vie for supremacy - I am aware that I sing excerpts from a particular song with surprising frequency: “Unpack Your Adjectives.”
In this song, a child - accompanied by a turtle - returns from a camping trip eager to describe the people, places, and things they encountered on their adventure. Now that I live in the mountains of Western North Carolina, their bear encounter has fresh relevance: “He was a hairy bear/He was a scary bear/We beat a hasty retreat from his lair/And described him with adjectives.”
Periodically in my weekly Spirituality in Recovery groups, we spend the session focusing on feelings. I begin by emphasizing that no feelings are inherently “bad” - our expansive emotional range is God-given - but how we act on our feelings can certainly result in negative consequences.
During this session, I pass out copies of an extensive list of feelings and invite the residents to highlight every feeling they have experienced during the past 24 hours. This exercise is always enlightening. I note that if someone passes us in the hallway and asks, “How are you doing?” we are unlikely to rattle off a list of 30 adjectives. Nevertheless, when we make the effort to name our feelings, we often discover paradoxical patterns.
In the aftermath of Hurricane Helene, many residents of Western North Carolina have simultaneously felt shocked and grateful, exhausted and engaged, heartbroken and expectant. Emotions swirl ferociously, like the storm that precipitated them. Naming feelings is the first step in processing them.
Catastrophic. Disastrous. Apocalyptic. These adjectives have appeared frequently in recent news stories and in social media posts, adjectives unpacked to describe not only a natural disaster but also a national election. That third adjective always catches my attention.
The Greek word apokálypsis means “revelation.” When I notice myself applying the adjective “apocalyptic” to a situation, I am learning to stop and ponder. What does my strong emotional response to this situation reveal about what I value most in life? What is being revealed about my community or my country that comforts me or distresses me, that encourages me or challenges me? What is being revealed about my capacity for compassion?
What adjectives have you been unpacking lately? Pay attention to your feelings. No one else gets to tell you whether or not your feelings are valid. These are your feelings. No one else gets to tell you that it’s time to move on from these feelings.
As I am unpacking my adjectives during these challenging days, I am using a variety of tools to help me process what I’m feeling in my body, mind, and spirit. Spending time in nature helps. So does lighting a candle on my desk. Journaling each morning gives me a chance to offload some of the heaviness before I rise to meet the day. Walking a labyrinth grounds me. Breath prayers soothe me. Talking to trusted friends offers release. Engaging in meaningful service to others is always life-giving for me.
Dare to enter the lair of your feelings. Unpack your adjectives. Name your feelings. Own them. Be curious about them. Notice how you experience them in your body. Identify and utilize coping skills. Be gentle with yourself. Remember you are not alone.
